THE UNDELETABLE PAST
by white soul
Summary: white soul presents to you a story about life, goals,friendship,hardship...one that will lift your spirits high and break your heart...staring rukawa kaede and aiji shisano
1. searching for fire in winter

FOREWORD:Life.Mine,yours and everyone's is ever changing,always full of                           obstacles.And yet we survived.Most of the time it is because of a loved one……

THE UNDELETETABLE PAST CHAPTER  ONE:Searching For Fire in Winter 

Dawn in Kanagawa.The sun stretching itself to the fullest brightening the deep blue sky.A lone figure stood in the middle of a cemetery,in front of a grave.He could still hear her laughter and see her beautiful smile.He remembered it as if it was yesterday.He took a deep breath and sigh.She leaving him had changed him,made him emotionless,made him work day and night,made him had sleepless nights.

The fire in his eyes was put out.Those dark blue eyes never twinkled,never warm as if frozen.He knelt down and layed a single white rose and bid his wife farewell.A gust of wind suddenly blew as if she acknowledge his words.He stood still for a moment Lost in sweet memories…of his true love.

"Otousan,"a voice broke the silence.

He  opened his eyes and faced his only son.He saw the replica of his wife in his son.Sometimes it makes him happy,other times it brings sorrow to his broken heart.The younger boy also had a single white rose in his hand.He repeated his father's steps.White roses was symbolic to their family.It carried a deep meaning that only they understood.

After paying their last respects they both walked side by side without words.Both knew that the 10th death anniversary of  the most important woman of their lives was a meaningful occasion.The elderly man stopped in front of a black limousine a driver quickly open the door for him.

"Kaede…."he started

"Iie ,I'll walk home."and the 16 year old boy walked in the opposite direction.The black limo sped off  entering the jammed highway.Kaede walked slowly down the side walk.Eyes unfocused thinking hard.Cancer had took his mothers life.He was only six at that time.The last year of kindergarten where he as teased unmercifully because of his mother's death.He remembered one person only at that time.that person handed him a note in a scribbling writing.He took out his wallet and pulled out the parchment he kept for ten years.Written on that crumpled paper was:

_your__ mama gone to butiful place_

_lots__ of pretty flowers_

_God looks after her_

It comforted him a lot. More than his father's lame explanations.He never knew who that person was.What was her name…because it was left on his table.He often thought it as a girl because it was written on a pink piece of paper.Now he was sure of it.He halted in front of a hugh mansion.The guard opened the gate hurriedly.He went inside and headed straight for his room.He had this urge to find her but always faltered after thinking hard.He always tried to forget,tried to deny ,tried to hate her because he was scared of people.The fear of interacting.This ease him to build a energy field of hatred and anger which scared away many people.He had the photo album on his hand,He had scanned that particular photograph of his kindergarten mates more than a hundred times,trying to guess that person.He wanted to be loved but he didn't know how,he wanted to love but he doesn't know where to begin.

Tomorrow was a new beginning for him in high school.Shohoku High basketball team would be his goal.Nothing else.Then he decided to inquire in his old kindergarten for the names and phone numbers of his classmates,no one in particular.It was no use they threw away old records when they changed principal.

Rukawa Kaede sat at the bench of the canteen.He felt lost again …the second time since his mother's death.[A.N if it is meant to be it is meant to be] 

An old lady probably in her sixties neared the solemmed figure.She smiled warmly when she recognized the familiar figure through her thick glasses.He didn't seem to notice her presence.

"Rukawa Kaede,"she said smilingly her face wrinkled up.

Rukawa turned and looked blankly at the lady in front of him.

"Mrs Aiji?"he asked uncertainly.

She nod her head."I  knew I would see you here again,"she said knowingly.

"huh?"he was shocked.

She sat down beside him and touched him with her rough hands.She was the owner of the canteen.

"I still remembered how you ran and call the principal when I had a heart attack…..you were the first one I saw when I opened my eyes in the hospital.The fact that you lost your mother must have made you accustomed to that situation,"she said .

She saw his head hung lowand immediately regretted her words.

"Sorry to bring up your mother,"she apologized.

"Iie ,it's alright,"he replied.

"My niece is coming back to Kanagawa.Thought you might like to know,"she said suddenly changing the topic.

Rukawa looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"I don't understand,"he said quietly.

She took out a notepad from her handbag.He recognized it immediately.

"_Masaka"_he thought

"This is the paper…"his voice trailed.

"Yes,my niece asked for a paper on the day you were punch by a gang of boys.One against three,it wasn't a fair fight.You were hurt pretty badly and you did shed tears before she helped you by kicking their private parts,"she paused and laughed.

Rukawa bore a frown on his forehead thinking hard.He was baffled.He couldn't remember anything about that.

"She enrolled in Shohoku High,I guess it is the school you are going to since it is the only school in this area,"Mrs Aiji continued.

"What's her name?"he asked softly.

"Aiji Shisano."

The name hit him directly in his head and heart.She was the girl he was the closest to before his mom died.He changed tremendously after that and was very cold to her until they became enemies and soon forgotten.

He soon forgotten_ Sano _but now memories came back….flashes of the past.He felt as if he sinned.

Past remains the past,

Never did it last,

Regrets come by too late,

Somehow mended by fate.

A.N: My first fic kinda long.Please read and review.I need them if not I won't update it.^_^ Just kidding!!! To Ikuko san hope you read this and review neh…I am Nicki.

I will always try to include a poem in each chapter,hope you like it.I will to update once a week.Ja….


	2. spark of the moment

FOREWORD: Coincidence. There are none. Destiny will determine our path. Underneath he deep blue sky lies our first meeting.

THE UNDELETETABLE PAST

Chapter 2: Spark of the moment.

Rukawa stared at Mrs Aiji's back as the old lady walk away from him. Her last words paralyze him completely. 

"Rukawa san…..I think you should know ….Sano is here…somewhere in this building. I just picked her up at the train station and she insisted on coming here….she said something about finding some thing,"with that Mrs Aiji left him pondering.

Aiji Shisano…..It was like a dream. He thought it was. He tried to deny and pretend for so long until it no longer seem real. And her existence vanished, his memory of her erased. It was just a spark of the moment when he was lost and no one  cared about him. He pushed everything about her to the back of her mind, to the back of his heart. He couldn't face the truth …about his mother's death…and about a gentle touch…too gentle for a tomboy….

Rukawa got up from where he was seated.For some reason he wanted to find her and see her with his own eyes.He looked around once and his instinct lead him towards the west.Deep inside he always knew where she was.Although he kept it hidden for ten long years,there was always a microscopic part of her that stayed in him.That suddenly multiplied when he heard her name.

FLASHBACK

There was a little boy, who was always alone, always statued, always sad.It was almost time to go home and every kid was having their last playtime before their parents came to pick them up.Laughter , screams and shouts could be heard as they ran about the playground.He was at the back of the canteen sitting in a corner.Eyes half opened, dazed.He heard a soft voice in the canteen, 

"Please ,I promise I won't ruin it but mom already shifted my piano to the new house. I haven't got a chance to play since yesterday,"the voice said,a small harmonious voice.

"Alright I'll go with you but first I have to get the key,"he recognized that voice it was the lady in the canteen's.

Footsteps were heard approaching him.He stood up hurriedly not wanting to be found out but they were faster and an astonished  voice called his name.

"Rukawa san,"Mrs Aiji said surprise.

He turned around and faced her and a chubby, cute girl by her side.The girl's light brown eyes were inquisitive and it twinkled with smiles.It seem that she expresses herself with her eyes.Her facial expression was one of impatience.He saw Mrs Aiji nudge her small shoulders and whispered something.She hesitated before reaching out a hand.

"Ohayo,my name is Aiji ,sayonara,"and she pulled back her extended arm and ran but was caught by Mrs Aiji.Mrs Aiji whispered something in her ear again which she seem to be interested in and she extended her hand again.Rukawa was dumbfounded but after an encouraging nod from Mrs Aiji he took in the handshake.

"Um… would you like to be the audience?Aunt Kaime said you would neh,"Aiji asked excited.She reached for his left hand and interlocked their fingers before pushing Mrs Aiji towards their destination.

Her hand felt warm in his and she swung it happily between them.They came upon a blue door labeled music room.Aiji practically ran inside after it was unlock pulling Rukawa harshly.The lights were switched on by Mrs Sano.Then he saw a piano for the first time,

It was placed at the side of the room.She let go of her hold and positioned herself in front of the instrument.

She took a deep breath . Then her deft fingers moved smoothly in the keyboard.Such a sweet ,cheerful melody that calmed him ,that was making him float and fly ,with his mother a beautiful angel.

Then he became her 'audience' for a week before the holidays.The last day of school.

She said sayonara,she was moving to Tokyo.They held hands walking together after school where she played a song for him ,her first audience and he had nothing to give except a white rose. 

END OF FLASHBACK

He stood in front of the familiar room again this time it was yellow in colour.He turned the knob, it was locked…Disappointed he turned around and in a distance ,a girl walked towards him.A girl with long ebony black hair tied up into a ponytail.She walked past him ignoring his existence and unlocked the room,let herself in and wanted to shut it but Rukawa pushed it open,without words she let him in and clicked the door close.

They stared at each other.Her light brown eyes versus his dark blue ones.

"What do you want ? Eshiri sent you didn't she? We have already agreed I have a year to prepare for our fight so go away and stop bothering me!"she said softly yet stressing every word.

He was taken aback .But he remained in his calm composure.She still had her chubby features but now she was tall,built and had a saddened expression written on her face.A small scar about an inch was above her left eyebrow.Her eyes no longer twinkle with happiness but bore a tough and vengeful sight.

She looked at his puzzled expression and knew he wasn't one of her enemies.Yet he looked so familiar.She shrugged the thought off as he couldn't be that guy.The guy who wasn't one of her enemies but the one she hated , hated so that she could put the past behind her.He wanted her to know.He wanted to know.For the first time he broke the silence.

"Who are you?" he asked.

So he wasn't sent by Eshiri….Her expression soften and she replied in such a soft ,drifting voice

"I am a goddess .I am the raindrops falling from the clouds. I am the mountain that stand up tall beneath the mist and the deep blue sky, I am everywhere ."

He looked at her strangely , his left eyebrow lifted slightly. She mature much.She was very wise in her words .Something he hasn't found in any girl,in any of the letters left in his locker.She somewhat ease him. Her presence gives him comfort .

She realized he was staring at her probably with no understanding whatsoever of her speech.She did not mind .To release the invisible frown on his forehead she continued calmly

"It is better for two beings to communicate like strangers and walk away forgetting than knowing the truth which leaves a scar in the heart."

He decided to lure her out of this unusual mysterious way she changed.It was like he didn't know her at all.

"Sometimes there's no need for lies…Aiji'"he replied.

His words striked her ,causing a huge impact in her heart.Her eyes widened but quickly regain her balance.

"I hate you. I detest people like you,"she said trying to stress a point but the words came out shakily.

Rukawa saw her hands slightly shivered,he noted the shakiness in her voice.He needed just one more blow to her ears before she exploded.And he did just that.

"Aiji, I'm Rukawa,Rukawa Kaede,"he said softly.

That did it . She froze completely hearing his name. Then she realized he was playing a game, one that she will lose girls are always weak.Emotions clouded her mind .She turned her back at him.It suddenly grew warm in that air conditioned room.The temperature rose up so fast as the aura of feelings circled them both .He waited for her words ,angry syllables that would burn his ears but there were none

The stillness of the room.The quietness of the surrounding signals that danger grew close.Two hearts beating madly.One out of negative energy and the other with a positive source.Both clashed against each other.

"The ghost is back .It never stopped haunting me,"she said .Her hands forming into a fist.Rukawa Kaede the ghost that did not stop haunting her.That made her do silly things just to forget,to get away from his grasps.

He walked towards her .Her heart sceamed "No don't come close,go away,"

But she stood as she felt his hands slipping into hers interlocking their fingers reviving  the past.

"I'm here,"he whispered . She lost this game again. She remembered Eshiri her junior high school life and that was enough to make her break their connection and ran out the exit,within seconds.Rukawa  didn't waste any time in chasing her.

Sudden revival of memories,br

Bursting out from sidelines,br

Somehow what mattered most,br

Comes with a cost.br

A.N:Wow Rukawa is so OOC.But this is my fic and Rukawa is vulnerable inside beneath his tough hide.No it will not be a lemon.         


	3. fiery eyes beneath falling sakuras

FOREWORD: Without eyes, without the sense of sight, one may be blind but don't

                        be despaired for the heart leads the way …….

THE UNDELETETABLE PAST 

CHAPTER THREE: Fiery Eyes Under Falling Sakuras

The door was left slightly ajar. Sunlight seeped through the small opening into an empty room.Only an unkept piano in a corner showed a sign that two people had been 

there a few moments ago.The only clue that two people left hastily…..that two shadows dashed out from the room was the sound of their footsteps that echoed….. and if one stays long enough ,they will feel an uneasy settlement inside the room that once whispered beautiful melodies.

If the Gods were witnessing this, they were paying close attention…. as the wind suddenly picked up and teased the cherry blossom trees making sakuras fall touching lightly on  two faces that were running…..running against the flow of the natural breeze.One of them was a girl…..a girl that was determined , that was set in fulfilling her goal to get away from her stalker.The ghost that haunted her.

Not far behind, a guy stepping the rough, hot road with his black Nikes ran after her. Prespiration dripped from his forehead.His messy raven coloured fringe swayed side by side as he continued his pursuit.He could see her leg muscles below her knee length shorts and her hair. It was a beautiful ebony tied up in a ponytail swishing as she proceeded down the road.

She felt a sudden pain the right side of her abdomens. She had lost her stamina.It has been a while since she went on track. The national Under –12 gold medallist for 1500m has certainly slacked. She never regretted quitting the sport until now ……she needed the extra energy…..

"Oh, how I wish I had wings…"she thought as she pushed herself harder. She could feel him nearing her….. hear his footsteps approaching her. It 's frequency louder and louder.

Nearing an intersection she did not heed the traffic lights and ran out.Then there was a series of screeches and honks as the road users slammed on their brakes.It wasn't her time yet and she passed the intersection in one piece.

Rukawa could only look on as there was no way he could cross this busy road.He watched as her figure grew smaller and smaller until she was gone.Never did time pass so slowly. He caught his breath and cursed his weakness in sprinting.He could have pushed harder…. could have made it to her.If only his mind did not hesitate…..The mind that played tricks….The devil that almost made him give up before he saw light….. before her sad image came to him. He had to find out whatever happened that erased her smile and took away her happiness. It was downright queer, he was concerned, he cared…..

Finally the lights turned green, he crossed the road hurriedly.His eyes searching aimlessly, he couldn't remember where she stayed but he doubted she would go home anyway.He entered a park for no reason ,maybe he wanted shade from the terrible biting 2 o'clock sun.He wiped his forehead with his sleeves as his feet crunched softly on the smooth grass.He felt defeated. He was unable to sense her discomfort, unable to sense her feelings, unable to read her like he used to.When she was the cute, pure, innocent creature…….he was attracted to her then because she was like a white rose. There was nothing hidden underneath. She was fearless saying whatever that comes to her mind.She 

often did stupid stunts and just laugh about it.But now even a smile from her is rare.

Now he wondered if he made a mistake touching her. Would she stay if he hadn't? But he knew this was meant to be. She had to sort out her thoughts and so did he.A growl rumbled in his empty stomach. Time for a bite. All this running made him extra hungry. He could swallow an entire sushi bar. He decided his next stop would be the first sushi bar he came upon. He needn't search long. Lady luck guided him to a dead end where a stall with a pink umbrella was set up. 

He made out a figure sipping a cold drink  on a high stool of the bar. Thirstiness succumb him, his dehydrated throat was itching. He sat down beside the small figure not noticing she was the one he was looking for. Her eyes opened wide when she heard the familiar voice.She turned and faced the shocked Rukawa Kaede. There was no escape this time her legs were as soft as jello ,no way she could even walk away. Run? Forget it. Why should she? After all she was there first.

"Ice lemon tea for you sir,"the bartender said as he handed him the drink.

"May I have a slice of lemon please?"Rukawa asked.

"Funny ,she asked for the same thing,"the bartender said pointing to Aiji.

Both sides sat quietly sipping their drink while waiting for their food. Unfortunately this wasn't a sushi bar , it was more of a noodle shop. So both of them ordered udon with crab meat.

" They must be one set of twins ,"the bartender thought. Maybe in their past life. Now that they are reincarnated they might be enemies.He heard lots of prophecies about this and shuddered at his thought. He went on preparing their food.

[A.N:Give this a thought, your enemy may be your twin in your past life…..]

She was a slow eater, chewing every morsel of food like it would never end. On the other hand he slurped and gobbled like he hadn't eaten for a thousand years. 

"At last a difference,"the bartender sighed.

Rukawa finished his food in a jiffy and asked for the bill. He laid double the amount and turned to Aiji "My treat,"he said and with that he walked away.

She suddenly snapped to attention and started stuffing the food down.Rukawa sauntered in a tortoise pace.Partly because he was full….partly because he was tired….partly because he was in deep thought. If buying her a meal is a way to part so be it. Little did he know she was fast approaching him. She slipped beside him.

"Thank you,"she mouthed.

"Forgotten your purse?"he asked.

"Yeah,"she grinned sheepishly.

"I knew you never eat so slow,"he said .

"You remembered…"her voice trailed

"You always choke on your food, I've never seen a girl eat like you."

"I have changed,"she said softly.

"I noticed,"he halted and stared at her face.

She did the same.Beneath the falling sakuras.Their eyes locked.The moment hung in silence. He suddenly broke the mood and continued his pace.

"I want to thank you,"she said walking beside him.

"You already did."

"No, a token of gratitude has to be repaid. Would you like to be my audience?" she asked and without waiting for an answer she reached for his left hand and interlocked their fingers walking towards the place where they first met. Swinging it between them.

Little things like holding hands….are always taken for granted. But not with the two figures who went through the gates of Happy World Kindergarten. The only connection they have is holding hands. Neither asked for more. Neither took the trouble to proceed on to the next step. Both wanted to stay this way hopefully forever. Two hearts beating in unison, this incredible feeling of belonging…. of oneness ….can't be describe.It's beyond imagination.

Aiji pushed the door gently and went inside with Rukawa .She slowly release their hold ,moving her fingers from his palms to their fingertips, letting their skin touch ,lingering their united connection till the last feel. Then she moved gracefully to the piano and positioned herself in front of the shiny black instrument.

"Our First Meeting,"she murmured. 

Rukawa just nod. He didn't ask any questions, for he knew there was no need for words to spoil this wonderful feeling….this wonderful moment. No need for interaction and no need for explanations. Just this calm settlement that relaxed each and every of his nerves…and his soul.

She looked at him fondly before inhaling a deep breath .She raised her hands and placed them directly where it was suppose to be. Her long sleek fingers moved smoothly in tempo on the keyboard.It went on legato…..without hesitation, without flaws, the beautiful melody entered his ears. It flowed to every part of his body mesmerizing him.His heart beat steadily…never skipping a beat reacting to the soft minor music that was reaching his soul.

The sweet music that was healing his lonely soul…..brought him higher…to the clouds, flying …..soaring in the sky with an angel…..his mother.Then watching as a bright light blinded his sight ,there he saw the most beautiful being he had ever seen…an  outline of Aiji…The scene in his head as his eyes were closed. It went on a  cresendo…..accelerando….the pace went quicker and louder and he sneaked a peak at the pianist who was fully concentrated on her piece, eyes wide open, body moving to the rhythm of the dazzling music.Her  fingers spreading to the whole 88 notes on the piano, lightly and deftly.

The volume gradually decreased and the pacing went down and the finale of chords was in tune as the melody ended ever so perfectly viced.A melody that never been heard by anyone till today.She didn't remove her hands immediately and let the strings in the piano vibrate longer as she regain her consciousness , coming back into this world after journeying to another realm in her beautiful story.

Rukawa applauded with all his heart and Aiji took a small curtsy then bowed low.

"Thank you for being my audience,"Aiji said .

"You always liked someone listening to you when you played,"he replied.

"You are my only audience, I never performed to anyone else before,"she said not looking at him.

"So .."he was lost for words.

"The title is Our First Meeting,"she said taking her head up.

"I know,"he said softly

"Rukawa, I want to make it clear now. I will not be tied down. I don't like being close to anyone,"she continued.

"So do I ."

"This is our first meeting and also our last. We have our work to do.You pursue your dream of going to America and I will continue to compose melodies,"she said.

"What do you mean?"he asked.

"I am only staying for a year.This year will determine my fate, if I am worthy to live, if I am forgiven, if not I won't be here any more,"she said dreamily.

"Eshiri?"he asked.

"Yes, we are going to fight to the death. I made a mistake of joining the gang. The wrong group. A life has to be paid by a life,"she looked down.

"You killed someone?"he asked calmly.

"No, it's a long story….. I was part of this gang and one day a member got killed in a fight. Then I realized what a terrible mistake I was making.The next day, I told our leader I want out….."

FLASHBACK

"Takashi, I want to be out of the gang,"Aiji spoke.

"No if you want out you must die, this are the rules,"Eshiri said.

The three of them were in their small hide out. There was shouts from Aiji and Eshiri.Five gang members suddenly appeared holding Aiji back against a wall. Each taking turn to beat her up. They came for revenge. She triggered their anger..they were jealous of her…she always had the best.Soichiro Takashi's pet-sister.Blood spilled.The pain from the blows to her ribs and face were indescribable .

She was badly bruised.Takashi was knocked out by Eshiri, she was the leaders's girlfriend and Takashi was the leader's brother.Another bunch of guys suddenly turn up.When you are in a street gang they all turn up without you noticing.Aiji's vision blurred before her.Then she heard Eshiri laugh.She barely made out the dagger on Eshiri's hand.It was supposed to be in Aiji's heart…she wasn't supposed to lived but Takashi came and he saved her life.The dagger plunged into his ribs.

"Aiji… I kept my promise…I protected you,"those were his last words he slipped into a coma. 

Eshiri cooked up a bunch of lies to her boyfriend, Soichiro Tanaka the leader of their gang. Then they gave her a year to live. 

END OF FLASHBACK

"Takashi has been on life support for more than three months now and there was no news.He must be still in coma,"Aiji ended her story.

Rukawa could have sweared he saw a tear fall from her cheeks.

"My only hope is Takashi waking up.Since I moved here about a week ago.I checked with a source of mine.Takashi has awakened but he is in a state of shock and has a temporary memory loss,"Aiji said wistfully.

"Rukawa, lets part as strangers.I don't want you to get involve,"she said sadly.

"Aiji Shisano , you are my girl and always will be and we will go through this together,"Rukawa said walking towards Aiji and grasping her left hand, joining their fingers and lead her out of the room.Both sworn to secrecy of Aiji's sinful past.

Time healed all wounds,

Shuts away horrible sounds,

But there will be scars,

And also stitches of wars.

A.N:The longest attempt probably long winded.Hope you people keep on reading and reviewing cause I am really trying my best to update every week.Minna thanks for reviewing.

CERES:Thanks for reviewing, I hope you like the outcome of my fic.Is it sweeter?

Blue obsessed :none is writing more get more reviews for me???

Anonymous:thanks for reviewing …care for some id….well I don't mind keep r  n r ya…

Pysco-Kyugurl:yes..yes my fic is going on what about yours????

Tensaispira:Here is the next chapter…..Do you like it????  


	4. crystal clear reflections in misty mirro...

FOREWORD: Whatever happens in between, those dark empty spaces where shadows of the untruth combines.The real images however is invincible…not to be seen by the human eye and that is what we all intend to find.

THE UNDELETETABLE PAST

CHAPTER FOUR: Crystal clear reflections in misty mirrors 

The stillness in the air…unmoving without any pressure. The small pond in the park was undisturbed. Golden and silvery fishes swam smoothly at each curve…as if playing and teasing two reflections that appeared just a moment ago. The shoal of fish that swam silently in the sparkling blue pond attracted both their eyes. They both sat facing the pond . She dusted the bench before settling down , he did not even care and sat on a few small, tiny faded buds of sakuras.She had a disapproving look on her face and he stood up to brush away the wilted sakuras off his side.

An unspoken bond has developed within them as they ease themselves of each other's company. They seem to have understood every signal and gesture that was made without words, a silent language.Under the shade of a huge, old cherry blossom tree they sat watching nature, the fishes in the pond, the swallows in the sky and the blooming sakuras. Her knee grazed his lightly as she reached out for a falling sakura. The spilt second warmth on his knee made him extra conscious of her presence beside him yet he couldn't fight his sleepy mood.

Aiji sat back down. Looking at the small white flower with shades of pink. She held it in her palms and closed her eyes for a brief moment before releasing it into the pond. It floated and followed the streamline of the pond circling some water lilies on the way to its' destination, wherever that may be. Aiji shifted her gaze to Rukawa. He was peacefully sleeping with his head tilted on his fist and his elbow was on the armrest. For the first time she dared to look at him fully from head to toe. 

She closely examined his taut body and handsome face. She felt that she didn't deserve someone like this. She was a loner and this was meant to be for the rest of her life.She knew she had to part with him…this was unavoidable…they couldn't stay together. She softly sang to him…to his unconscious body…a song that she replayed in her head when she thought of him in the past…a slow, sad song by Utada Hikaru…titled First Love.

                                                                      Translation:

Saigo no kisu wa                                          (So close your eyes for a final kiss

Tabako no flavor ga shita                             That tastes of want and bitterness

Niga kutetsetsu nai kaori                               Our last kiss like a smoldering cigarette

Ashita no imakoro ni wa                                So at this time tomorrow, I know

Anata wa doko ni irun darao                          Would you be off in your world all alone

Dare wo omotterun darao                              And who would be in your heart for you to          

                                                                       Hold?)

You are always gonna be my love                 (You are always gonna be my love

Itsuka dare kato mata koi ni ochitemo             And one day if I see another like you I 'll

                                                                       Know what to say

I'll remember to love-you taught me how     I'll remember to love- you taught me how       

You are always gonna be the one                   You are always gonna be the one 

Ima wa mada kanashii love song                   In my mind as I pick away the saddest of   

                                                                       Saddest love songs

Atarashii uta utaeru made….                         Till another one will come and give me a                                                

                                                                       New one)

Aiji stopped abruptly as Rukawa suddenly shifted his head. Her sweet soothing voice that melted hearts was sealed until today, she never sang for anyone before. She felt confused. She laid a small sakura she plucked on his thigh. She stood up meaning to leave but a masculine voice spoke.

"My mom used to sing to me."he said eyes still closed.

Silence.

"She had a beautiful voice,"he continued his eyes flashed open but in a daze.

He made out her back a few feet a way from him.Then he notice the sakura on his thigh.

"The sakura is pretty,"he said picking it up.

Her body shook slightly. She stood frozen, not knowing what to do. She blinked back the tears that were building up in her eyes. Funny …she thought her tears were all dried up since she cried for Takashi so many times. Those endless sleepless nights where her tears flooded her pillow, her sobs stiffened into her teddy bear. It suddenly grew cold as dark clouds formed.

"You have a bad way of saying goodbye…"his voice penetrated her ears slitting her heart slowly making her heart break into two.

Finally she turned around meeting his eyes. Diving her dark brown pupils into his deep blue pools. Her face was bright pink.

"I don't think you want to hear those words,"she said taking a few steps forward.

"In the end everybody leaves without saying those words, they just go… like mom,"his eyes never shifted from hers.

"Have you ever wanted them to stay?"she asked uncertainly.

"They did not give me a choice," came his answer

"What would be the best parting gift?"

"I didn't know break ups can be bought," he said wistfully

"When the time comes, people has to leave,"she said averting her gaze elsewhere.

"Who are you referring to?"he said bringing her eyes back into his.

"Your mother…and me…I never wanted to be in your life anyway,"she said carefully.

"Liar. You came back to Kanagawa, went to our kindergarten, you wanted to find something there didn't you?" he retorted at her statement.

"I hate to be called a liar," she said biting each word out. 

"Hate…you used this word frequently nowadays,"he said.

"We only met today might I remind you,"she replied.

"The antonym of hate doesn't exist in you heart anymore?"he persisted

"I don't know what you are talking about,"she pretended to not understand his words.

"Do you love anyone?"he asked in a matter of factly

"I am going to be a nun, I am not suppose to get involved with that disgusting word," she said bravely.

"A nun has to be vegetarian, meditate, chant and pray everyday, I didn't know you were that religious, I doubt you even know a thing about your religion,"he countered.

"Don't underestimate me,"she said annoyed.

"You only have a year to live,"he reminded her.

"No , I am going to win that battle and my future is going to be laid out then, "she said confidently.

"So you aren't a coward after all, "he said in a sarcastic tone.

"No one messes with me that gets away, I will put up a tough fight and only my dead body will leave them safe, "she returned his sarcasm.

"You don't seem to be looking for them,"he said suddenly realizing it.

"I am a future nun, I don't like to fight, I prefer peace," she said softly.

"So that's why you want to walk away…hide from me…What good does that do?" he asked her

"You want to hear those words then I'll say them out loud," she said changing the topic.

"Second round of running away, "he noted.

"What do you want me to do?" she cried exasperatedly.

"I didn't know what I wanted mattered to you, " he said making her go red.

"You are making fun of me,"she concluded.

"I am very conservative so when I really start to debate, I never lose, Dad often become baffled by my words ," he explained.

" You really love your parents don't you?" she asked with a sadden expression.

" Don't you?" he asked puzzled.

"I don't know anymore, I tried to be good but they never understood. They seem to be avoiding me…no more like ignoring me since I came home that day with bruises and the deep cut on my forehead. They didn't ask any questions and I offered none," she said.

"Maybe they didn't know what to do, they put their trust and believed in you, somehow you turned out…"he faltered.

"Not they as they have expected," he finished looking as her expression changed.

"I know but it is at these times I needed their support," she seem to be pleading.

"You didn't open up to them…How are they to know, "he said careful to not hurt her.

"I voluntarily came here and they agreed to let me come here for a change of surroundings," she said quietly.

"I think they know that you are mature enough to sort things out yourself, if that's the case they really understand you…did you want them to scream at you? Then you would've ran away and that would've been worse," his words brought her to realize.

"Yes , mom and dad really love me," she said after flashing happy scenes in her mind.

"I think I know the reason you walk away from people so fast, you back out so that they won't know what is in stored underneath your safety shell, your barrier," he  said knowingly.

"Don't give yourself too much credit, you are also like that," she lashed back at him.

"Yeah, we are pretty much the same," he relaxed.

"That's why we read each other so well," she sat back down beside him.

"You're not going?" he asked surprised.

"I am…later," she said.

Rukawa succeeded in luring her back. But he knew she would be gone before the day ends. He wanted to share one last thing with her.

"Do you want to play basketball?" he asked.

"I don't know how to play," said shyly.

"Oh."

"But you could teach me, it could be fun," she offered.

"I need to get my ball first," he said.

Then two shadows proceeded towards the Rukawa's residence. Both knew that it would be the last thing they would do together. At the end of the day they will part as strangers.

They understood it perfectly, they couldn't be tied down, not now but if their path crosses again then they would not let go of that chance. As destined to be the path that  are crossed trice together somehow gives the sign-"Together Forever". Prophecies sometimes bring souls to unite and sometimes to part.

She stood in front of the huge opened gates of the Rukawa mansion. She didn't know he was this rich. There was even a guard and surveillance cameras around the house. He proceeded in but she stood outside not moving a step. She didn't dare go in…It was overwhelming. The guard was also surprised. His master was with a girl that didn't want to step into this beautiful mansion. Weird. He walked towards her.

"What's wrong?"he asked puzzled.She was speechless.

"This, are you really Rukawa?" she asked.

"You didn't know I was wealthy?" he smiled.

"I …"she searched for the right words. There were none.

"Just shut up and come in ," he tugged at her elbow.

They went in past a few Mercedes, sporty Mercedes ,limo Mercedes then a few antiques like Baby Austin and Mustangs before reaching the front door that was wide opened by two men in black suits.

"Master Kaede, you can't just disappear like this," one of them spoke and that was the last straw. She cracked up. Her laughter not shrill and high pitched but one genuinely of amusement.

"Master Kaede?" the other cocked one eyebrow up lifting his black glasses.

"She's alright," he replied.

"Your friend?" he continued.

"No a stranger," he said pulling Aiji past them.

She finally stop laughing…

"Bodyguards?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said obviously embarrassed.

"Stay here, you can make yourself comfortable in that couch over there, I won't take a minute," he disappeared up the stairs.

She stood as if frozen. An old lady walked out from a room. Aiji wanted to hide. The lady walked towards her.

"Konnichiwa," the lady said.

"Konnichiwa," Aiji replied.

"Aiji?" she asked.

Aiji nodded. She didn't ask how the lady knew her name. Rukawa might have told her. Anyway she didn't feel like making any small talk.

" Kaede finally got you back, I was worried but now everything is going to be alright,"

"What do you mean?"Aiji spoke.

Then they heard footsteps neared them. Rukawa was in shorts and a sweatshirt with his Spalding basketball in his backpack.

"Mrs Daichi , I am eating out today," he said.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Mrs Daichi asked.

"Mrs Daichi this is Aiji Shisano , Aiji this is Mrs Daichi my nanny cum personal assistant," he said jokingly.

"I am your babysitter you big infant, what is all that crap about personal assistant?"she raised her voice.

"Sorry ma'm I'll be back about eight, sayonara,"he said.

Both of them went into the garden , he told her to wait at the porch for a while,and came back with a white rose.

"It's beautiful,"she said after he handed it to her.

They went out of the gates and headed towards the nearby park's basketball court, where he taught her to lay up and dribble. She was a fast learner but fumbled with the ball a few times. She then left him to practice as she watched in the sidelines. She watched him play all fired up and it was at this time that she knew he was going to be someone big and famous in the basketball arena.

Back at the Rukawa's residence, there was a lot of hustle and bustle going on as the news of their Master Kaede coming home with a girl and he even gave her a white rose. White roses symbolized purity, sincerity, beauty, mystery and love. The Rukawa's tradition never died, white roses for them meant true love and then soul mates. These little signs made the guards, servants and his personal assistant cum nanny Mrs Daichi to believe that the best is yet to come…

Mist blurs the vision,

Making one lose their way,

Averting them from their destination,

Leaving them to wait while the vapours play.  

A.N: Phew!!! I  finally finished this chapter. I was in the slumps, I actually begin this twice before getting my story straight. Writing is hard work.I salute all you writers out there. I hope all of you read and review cause I took a long time to complete this and I hope you guys like it ya

Nanami: Thanks for reviewing…I'll try to make it a bit not so sad ok….

Tensaispira: Here's the next chapter…hope you like it. Rukawa rulz

Blue-obssessed: Sorry to trouble you… anyway thanks for reviewing

  


	5. watch as the moon dances

FOREWORD: Everything dims before you… all falter and fade away. The final moments before the ending credits take charge. Then only a blank screen remains in the dark, soulless theater waiting for another movie to begin…

THE UNDELETETABLE PAST CHAPTER FIVE: Watch as the moon dances 

The setting sun was a sign. It was time. When darkness succumbs… the light fades and is taken away. Dusk means the end of today. Although bright stars twinkle in the sky, moods are broken. Wonderful spells slowly fade away. There is always tomorrow but it is a different story. Miracles that happen do not repeat itself. Hope carries us on, forward to the unknown as two shadows pointing to the east stood watching each other.

Expressionless. Eyes distant and unfocused. Perspiration dripped from both their foreheads. A few swallows flew above them in the pinkish orangey sky. All heading back to their nests…The girl walked to the corner of the court and picked up a full bloom white rose. 

Sensing her leave, the guy dribbled and charge to the hoop eluding imaginary opponents. Faking both sides with full concentration and ended his feat with a reverse dunk. He held on to the rim for a few moments…looking down at the floor. The orange sphere rolled to her feet. Clutching the white rose with two fingers she picked up the basketball and tossed it to Rukawa.

"Sunsets means the end,"her soft voice spoke

He caught the spinning ball with one hand and started dribbling. He never understood her puzzling words. Bits and pieces scattered everywhere. He has completed one third of it but the rest of her is still a mystery…unsolved…yet. He felt the sun rays on his back. The heat it generated nibbled at his skin. He wanted her to leave and the weird thing was she wanted the same thing.

"Sometimes sunsets brings new beginnings,"he replied and did a few shuffles between his legs and back passed before slicing the net with a smooth 3-point ball. The swishing sound of the net never failed to satisfy him. She saw the complete picture…he lived for basketball…he breathes basketball and that's how she wanted it to be. She could escape now. He didn't need her…she didn't really need him anyway.

"I'll see you around,"with that she headed towards the exit without turning back. The day has ended. They have parted. It was fun while it lasted…both of them comforted themselves. It has been a wonder that an icy frozen and emotionless guy could put up with a girl that had lots of secrets hidden deep inside. The twist of fate that had led them to each other…an unannounced encounter…yet a meaningful one and the moments they shared is priceless.

Rukawa continued practicing. He knew the standard of high school basketball and junior high's has a vast difference. He needed the practice so that he would be able to compete with his teammates and also rivals. He saw only victory. Anything less is unacceptable. He wanted to show off his skills and talent…he was a whiz at basketball. He had devoted his entire life on it. Shohoku Basketball Team watch out for me!!!!!

Aiji sauntered slowly towards home. She never wanted to see him again and hopes he understands. It hurt a lot to love and it isn't as beautiful as love is in fairytales and storybooks. Aiji knew that although she never experienced it before. The closes she came to a boy was with Takashi… She felt many emotions just being with him…but brushed them all off one by one when  she became his pet sister. She could still remember his eyes…deep, shinning and full of life unlike hers.

Even before she joined the gang she was a loner. It was not because of Rukawa…she didn't like feeling betrayed all the time. Junior high was really testing…it was where it all begin. She flashed scenes in her head of Takashi and had a sudden urge to see him. Takashi is so happy go lucky unlike her, he was her only true friend in junior high, her only friend.She wanted to see him badly. It was probably a coincidence that she walked past an arcade. Probably a sign. And leaving the sidewalk she entered the heavy tinted doors of  Outerspace Arcade.

The noise irritated her a bit. Yet it comforted her. She sauntered past a group of small boys playing some space games. Then there were a bunch of junior high guys at the motor sports corner. She then passed five guys that whistled at her while she went by. One of them had red hair, one was very fat and ugly, another was blond, the one next to blondie was a hard faced guy with a moustache and there was a good looking one flashing a  I'm-so-sorry-smile. He was cute but her thoughts then returned to Rukawa and she gave them a dangerous stare.

She walked one round through the shop and proceeded to the exit. She opened the door and faced three tall guys flashing her sly smiles. She didn't want any trouble so she moved a side to let them cross. They had other thoughts and came up surrounding her. The owner of the arcade pretended to be busy writing some stuff behind the counter when one of them said "Hey Mr. Mitdara , I think I heard something break at the back of your store."

 The owner took the hint and went away. Aiji kept her cool and walked steadily to the doors when one of them blocked the exit. She fired up, her rebellious self was about to take charge when suddenly the previous five guys that whistle at her came by laughing at a joke of some sort.

"Hey Takima-kun you didn't wait for us,"the cute one said casually and put an arm around her shoulder.

"Gomen ne Daichi-kun," Aiji quickly replied simply giving a name. She almost mouthed Rukawa's name but stopped herself just in time. Mrs. Daichi was what she remembered next.

The three guys moved away when they saw the stone cold stares that were directed to them by the five guys, make that six plus Aiji. The red haired one looked especially terrifying. They stepped out of the arcade and his arm slid off her shoulders. He then just smiled and went towards his gang and strolled off. Aiji was stunned…No pick up lines…No horny comments…Now that's a real gentleman. She did not like talking to guys and went on the opposite direction.

She checked her watch 6.35 p.m. She walked aimlessly thinking what would have happened if that guy did not come over. Blood shed would occur and it would not be hers. She could feel her adrenaline pumping when she first set sight on the troublemakers. She was clenching her fists hard waiting for it all to begin. She just needed another trigger. It's been so long since she has last felt this way and the scary thing was she wanted the fight to happen.

The painful blows that could be delivered although she was out numbered… She had faced tougher opponents than this. Usually trouble makers are real cowards… they only fight in a group or when they can overpower their prey. Alone they are less rated that specks of dust. Probably she was a bit rusted since her last fight but she knew she had not lost her touch. All these incidents made her remember more and more of Takashi and she froze in front of a train station. She did not have any money to board the first train to Tokyo. She ran…ran like lightning to her apartment a few blocks down. Only one thing was on her mind now…Takashi…she had to see him…

On the other side Rukawa was still shooting hoops without fail and planning moves, fakes and offence. He did not like to depend on anybody. He has an ego bigger than the whole Pacific Ocean combined together. He had to master up his skills and whole play. New and improved skills had to be obtained…he practiced hard on his dunks, shots and dribbling moves. He welcomed the challenges that High School basketball brings. Basketball…was all that mattered…nothing else. He dribbled to his left and crossed over to the right, a fake…two fakes and a fade away three point ball sailed high and swiftly went into the net.

He ran towards the board and caught the rebound…his leg muscles tensed up as he jumped up high and dunked the ball into the hoop. With his height it was just a simple thing to do. He released the rim and landed on his feet watching the ball roll to the corner of the court where Aiji last stood. He did not understand it. She was a girl…the species that she had avoided had never trusted. Betrayal. This one syllable word. The images of his mother came flowing back.

" She promised to be with me forever…she said she loved me very much…she said she will look after me…she is so beautiful, "his head whispered. His inner monologue… He remembered the way she smelled, the warmth of her hold, her steady breathing and her soothing voiced…the last time she saw her pale but beautiful face and deep brown eyes. He brush away his thoughts and continued practicing …concentrating harder this time not letting anything come between him and the love of his life… basketball. With the feeling of the ball and the whole court that to him is alive and beats in the same rhythm as his heart and just with the ball he is completed…he is whole. The way he handled the orange sphere, the way he positioned himself facing the hoop, the board, his grace, his flexibility and his reflexes works in unison to conquer the basket. 

It was close to eight when he did his finale that was a crossover eluding his first opponent and a fake to take another down…two down three to go…the next one was an ace trying to steal his ball…Rukawa caught his right hand approaching and back passed…As he neared the hoop two forwards were there they jumped and blocked every possibility there was for him to dunk the ball but he was suspended in mid-air and his right hand came in between their blocks to a simple lay-up shot.

He fell losing his balance and landed on his side…he needed to practice that move more…he kept that in mind. He was succumbed by thirst and fatigue took charge. He could feel every muscle of his almost dead but he was still standing steadily. His knees and elbows were slightly bruised as he made his way back to his mansion. That was the first time he tried that move… the picture came to him in an instant and he reacted…he had to go back home and analyze his error…he will be able to perfect that move. He promised himself he will achieve his dream of challenging The United States Of America's professional basketball. 

He sauntered towards his house with his backpack…his thoughts returned to Aiji. He recalled her last words "I'll see you around…" her voice lingered in his head. A soft soothing and gentle yet calm voice. He felt relaxed. He wanted to "see her around" then he thought of the way she walked away… he wouldn't be able to talk to her if he coincidently met her somewhere. He was torn…his hands move up to sweep away his damp fringe and he shrugged off those thoughts…He didn't need any friends or girlfriends for all that mattered.

All he needed was basketball nothing else matters. Basketball had never walked out on him and never hurt his heart. But it does bring some bruises every now and then. He felt those scars are merely microscopic pain that he has to endure…the heartache that love cause is unbearable. He did not want that…not now probably not ever as he didn't think he would be ready even after a million years. Aiji….her name made him hurt inside even now they had not even crass the barrier of friends and he felt pain, the closer one gets the pain gradually increases till it strikes you and suffocates you. This is the reason he won't budge an inch closer to anybody.

He could sense what they are going to bring to him in the future. He could sense them looking for an opening to stab him at the back or betray him. He notices people's actions and gets a premonition. Sometimes he thinks that it is six sense but he knows that people stick to friends like leeches, full of pretence, taking advantage to the maximum and if you already get warnings why not just avoid it. Prevention is better than cure.

The big gates automatically opened and the guard bowed low. He walked in with a straight face. His legs were guiding him not to the main entrance but to the side of the house where the well kept white rose garden is situated. He came face to face with his father when he reached his destination. Rukawa was not surprise, his father often return home from work and stared at these special white roses.

" Otousan ," Rukawa greeted.

"Kaede, you're back…"Mr. Rukawa's voice trailed.

Then they both stood side by side watching those bushes of white roses. Mr. Rukawa had heard of the visitor his son brought and the token he gave her. Either the servants or Mrs. Daichi will give a full report on the days' happenings. Mr. Rukawa wanted to know about his sons welfare and loves Kaede a lot although he does not always show it.

"Kaede, it's nice to know that you've finally opened up,"Mr. Rukawa turned and faced his son.

" What do you mean?"

"I think you know, you brought a friend here today."

"Can't I? This is my house too."

"Kaede, I want to know more about your friend."

"She's not my friend."

"You brought an enemy home?" Mr. Rukawa asked and smiled amused.

"She's just someone that I needed to sort things out with and I doubt I will ever see her again."

"I see…yet  you gave her a white rose," Mr. Rukawa said thoughtfully

"Otousan…I understand that white roses are really special to our family, yet their meaning is not clear. I want to know why do you give mom a white rose not a red or yellow or pink?" Kaede asked.

" The meaning lies here," Mr. Rukawa touched his chest where his heart supposed to be.

"and also here," Mr. Rukawa's hand went to Kaede's chest.

"This question is something I can't answer like why is the earth round and not flat." 

"Otousan…I .."

"Let me show you,"his father said and went to an orchid plant. There he plucked a flower. 

"Look…Kaede can you see…"he put the orchid next to a blooming white rose.

"See what ?"Kaede asked puzzled.

"What do you see when you look at the orchid?"

"An orchid."

"What do you see when you look at the white rose then?"

"A white rose?" Rukawa bore a frown. His father's questions have left him more and more baffled than closer to the real answers.

"You are correct. They are merely flowers. But when I look at the orchid I see you Kaede playing in the park when you were younger. You are strong and lasting and calm. And…"Mr. Kaede paused and smiled.

"When I see the white rose I see your mom. I see her beauty, pureness and kindness that touched my heart. And she gives light to my once lonely heart. I have never regretted one moment of my life since I met her…even when she passed on  she is still beside me and Kaede she is also beside you."

"Otousan, I should go and bathe now, you should take a rest."

"Iie , I'll stay a while longer, Don't worry you'll find your answers soon."

Rukawa Kaede went inside the mansion and freshened up. He took his dinner and lay on his bed facing the ceiling. He  had  no  friends,  he  could  not  get  close  to  anyone  and  he  hated  to  talk. Aiji … he  only  met  her  for  a few  moments  and  he  felt  comfortable. He  knows  she  has lots  of secrets. Mysterious  in  her  own  way. He  wanted  to know more about her yet he wants to keep a distance. 

_"When I see a white rose it reminds me of departure…mom's and Aiji's because I gave them a white rose when they were  about  to leave…and today the white rose still meant goodbye…still signifies departure…still bring me hurt, regrets and confusion…I don't see happiness anymore…no positive thinking. It is already farewell…tomorrow Aiji is a stranger to me,"Rukawa's mind analyzed as his mind drifted and finally fell asleep._

On the other side of town in a bullet train, Aiji headed towards Tokyo. She stared into the dark reflecting today's happenings and only one face appeared in her mind…and only one name came up…Rukawa Kaede.

"_He is still cold and silent. Uncaring towards everything but himself and basketball. I feel that he endured as much pain as me over the years probably more. This is what we have in common. Hurt. Being with him today brought back  many memories…he is going to ignore me…suit himself. I don't care. Yet a part of me wants to know him better…wants to put a smile on his face. A bright smile regardless what happened in his past. I have to wait and see,"Aiji thought carefully and made a decision to take in whatever comes next but for now Takashi is all that matters._

Little butterflies dancing gracefully,

As colourful flowers sway with the wind,

A beautiful sight ever so lovely,

Yet all shattered cause rain is never kind.

A.N: Sorry for the long break…writer's block. Actually I m not really satisfied with this chapter…reviews please criticism is welcome..flames…I'll also accept. I already changed my settings to receive anonymous reviews…I didn't know that I can't accept anonymous review till my friend told me. Thanks psyco_kyugurl!!! So read and review ya!!!!     


	6. the white doves are free

FOREWORD: Spirits roam freely…these invincible souls that wish to be heard and seen yet…they embrace their love ones… penetrating them all the same but feeling the warmth of life…and their true forms exist in the heart…

THE UNDELETABLE PAST

_CHAPTER SIX : The white doves are free_

Night came gradually yet suddenly overpowering the sunlight then conquering it. 

The Sun leaves no trace of its presence as the blue sky turns black with a shinning crystal

ball…  bright, the moon that is. And no one misses the tiny dots twinkling in the sky. Stars winking effortlessly in rhythm like fireflies dancing through the night…and great stars fly…shooting stars are the beautiful things that lit up the sky and by fate one shooting star appeared and the beholder was stun for a brief moment before making a wish….hoping it will come true.

_"I wish to be at peace…" Aiji whispered after she sighted the shooting star. Then Rukawa's face came into her mind as if they were connected. Aiji knew that everything was about to change…Rukawa …slowly but surely she is falling for him…slowly but surely all her emotions are beginning to collaborate and the answers she is looking for are probably with him…but she will continue to deny…continue to shun herself from him. There wasn't any reason for this behaviour …this is her attitude …it is best to be alone…she could not handle these feelings not now…probably someday._

She was bound by an invincible spell…because of her past and the punishment was just too much for a few moments of fun. A curse would best describe it. It was more than dreadful to not be able to love and to be loved…It was better being dead…Aiji was a girl…as much as she wanted to she couldn't get near any humans… girls or guys…her insides will churn and hurt her so the best is not being with anyone…Rukawa…is different somehow and she doesn't understand it.

The way to stop liking someone is just to hate them. Every time when Aiji was on the brink of liking people she brushed them away with negative energy…Hate. The most powerful negative source but this was not the same…..this time she could not bring herself to hate him as much as she wanted to…she found herself liking him even more and her heart drops to a bottomless pit…sending a weird adrenaline rush when she thought about him.

"Ting…ting…ting…Tokyo station"

Aiji snapped from her thoughts. She followed a few passengers down her stop. After getting through the sliding doors of the train she walked towards the exit. Suddenly she stop dead…..her eyes almost popped out when she saw a familiar figure walking up the steps. It was Takashi. Something came over her and she ran up and hugged him.

"Takashi…you're alright…you're ok…I was so worried…I'm so sorry …gomen… gomen ne," she leaned her head to his shoulders and realized that something was not right…

His scent…his shoulders was alien to her.

"I'm sorry…but I think you got the wrong person," a deep voice said softly.

Horrified she let go of him then stared into his eyes…they were blue like Rukawa's and not black like Takashi. But…it was his hair and his height and a few of his facial features that resembled Takashi…Then he smiled.

"I guess you were looking for my cousin Soichiro Takashi,"he said and grinned.

Silence.

"We are quite often mistaken because of this hairstyle and height,"he continued.

Silence.

"By the way, my name is Sendoh…Sendoh Akira," he held up a hand.

Silence.

Aiji stopped staring at him because her neck was almost numb. She eyed his hand then slapped it away. Sendoh was quite taken aback by her reaction. He noticed that she was looking pretty sad.

"Not to poke and pry but are you his girlfriend…the one who got him…"Sendoh stopped short.

Aiji was burning…she was furious…After months of controlling it she lashed out at this stranger.

"What ???"she bellowed.

"Yes I'm the one that put him in the hospital…I'm the one who almost had him dead…BUT I'M NOT THE ONE THAT STABBED HIM!!!!" she drew a breath

"Why do you ask stupid questions? Want to make me feel guilty? I just traveled for more than two hours in a train to see Takashi and this is what I get? More accusations? Who sent you? Eshiri? She was the one that stabbed him you know? WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHUT UP?" Aiji drew a fist and punched him in the face. 

"I see you're his girlfriend then,"Sendoh said getting up unsteadily after the blow.

Silence.

Aiji stared at her fist in disgust. She did it…she lost her temper and attacked a stranger and she's in lots of trouble now.

"Hey."

Aiji look up at him…he was smiling. So like Takashi…

"I'm sorry…I should not have brought that up but if you're heading towards Tokyo Medical Hospital…he isn't there…his father transferred him to a hospital in the U.S."

Silence.

"Then,  I'll be going now,"Aiji said quietly and walked away.

Luckily she bought a two way ticket. She stood at the platform staring straight ahead into the darkness.

"The next train will only be arriving in about an hour that is 10.00 p.m ,"someone said from behind.

Aiji was startled. She turned and faced Sendoh.

"Leave me alone," she said with a finality in her voice.

He left taking the hint or so Aiji thought. Aiji sat at the steps of the staircase leading to the platforms. A few people passed her looking curiously at her. After a few minutes she could not take their curious looks anymore. She checked her watch only 9.13p.m. She decided to phone her brother. Aiji went towards a payphone. She dialed her brother's cellular phone number. 

" Sorry, the number that you've dial cannot be reach at the moment, please try again later."

"Hi, this is Aiji Saeji, I'm busy…leave a message after the beep."

Beep.

She put down the receiver feeling more down. She wouldn't be seeing her brother for a long time. Although he was the total opposite of her…studious and great in sports…swimming and ice hockey. Anyway it was a Sunday night, he would probably be out with his girlfriend.

Aiji walked aimlessly around then settled on a bench. A guy approached her and held up a can of coke. It was Sendoh.

"Hey, I'm going back to Kanagawa…I'm supposed to take the 9 o'clock train but you…um…well, I missed it after you came so can we keep each other company?" Sendoh prodded gently… blushing a little thinking of the hug.

"Kanagawa?"Aiji mouthed shocked.

"Yeah, I study there,"he said pushing the can of coke to her.

"I don't take coke,"Aiji said.

"Why?"

"Ruins the stamina."

"Oh, you are a sportsperson then…what sports are you into?"

"Swimming."

"I'm into basketball, I play for Ryonan High, oh yes where are you heading?" Sendoh asked.

"Then you shouldn't drink coke,"she said and snatched the two cokes from him and threw it in to the bin beside the bench.

She took out her wallet and handed a few coins to him. 

"You sound like Coach,"he said and laughed.

She did not reply but stared straight ahead at the train tracks. _Rukawa plays basketball too.Wonder if Sendoh knows him? Although, I doubt so. No!!! Stop thinking about him!!!_

_Sendoh__…sounds familiar…  _

"Sendoh Akira…number 7, a highly skilled player, ace of Ryonan High,"Aiji spoke softly suddenly realizing it.

"How did you know?"

"Sportimes."

"Oh,that magazine."

Aiji was aching to ask about Rukawa but refrained herself from doing so. Her thoughts returned to Takashi.

"Sendoh Akira, why is Takashi in US they couldn't save him here could they?"Aiji said not looking at him.

"No…it is because both his parents are there and his mother wants to be with him. It's for the best, "he replied

"Um…what about Tanaka?"

"Still around I guess…he's probably in charge of the office right now."

"Eshiri?" Aiji asked uncertainly.

"He dumped her, "Sendoh said coolly.

"What?" Aiji was stun.

"Eshiri went too far. Takashi knew that she would lie thus he pretended to lose his memory…he took the opportunity to tell Tanaka the truth that Eshiri stabbed him. They both watched Eshiri for a while before Tanaka finally saw the real her. When he discovered the truth, he disposed her. She was after his money anyway,"Sendoh explained.

"You must be Aiji Shisano," Sendoh suddenly said.

"How did you know?" Aiji asked puzzled.

"Takashi talked about you a lot…he doesn't blame you…Tanaka is really sorry and wants to apologize but they couldn't locate you not even with…um…you know the underground network."

"You mean the gang…you aren't one of the gang are you?"

"Nope, but I'm their cousin I know what is going on. So you're Takashi's girlfriend then?" he asked again.

"Iie, Takashi is my pet brother. That's all. I don't have that kind of feelings for him."

"He says you're in love with someone else,"Sendoh grinned.

"I never told him anything," Aiji said calmly.

"Takashi is good in reading between lines," Sendoh informed her.

Aiji kept silent. _I have never mouthed a word about Rukawa Kaede…Takashi knows??? That can't be!!! Wait a second, Who said I like that do'aho anyway???_

"When he was about to leave, Takashi said something about… when the bow is pulled and the arrow is shot…nothing stops it and it shall go on till it reaches the target, then he said that Sano hesitates a lot…everything happens for a reason," Sendoh said kindly.

"It does…doesn't it?" Aiji replied.

"Huh?"

"Everything happens for a reason…..Takashi's favorite words," Aiji said dreamily.

"Sometimes the archer is distracted and there are strong winds that can blow the arrow off course…"she continued

"You speak like Takashi, no wonder he likes you…..wise words, not understandable by normal beings like me, but nonetheless…..I still get some of it," Sendoh said after hearing her speak.

Aiji wasn't listening to him. Her head was pondering over Takashi's message. _How I long to see him now…..to hear his voice...he is like an angel from heaven always comforting me and making me see things on the brighter side and now he is gone… _

"Hey, I'm hungry. Would you like to go eat?" Sendoh asked after a bout of silence.

"When will Takashi be back?" Aiji inquired softly.

"I'm not sure…..you should know that his mom and dad's business usually involves import and exporting so unless he is fully recovered no I should say unless his parents gives permission for him to come back to Japan…he won't be leaving there."

"You talk a lot," Aiji noted

"Yeah, I know that…..hey this is already the third time I'm asking…..Would you like to go eat?"

"Iie, I am not hungry."

"You still have to wait another half an hour you know."

" No, thank you."

"You are so stubborn."

"With the information you gave me about Takashi…..I need to be alone to digest it."

Aiji stood up and walked away from Sendoh. Sendoh stared at her departing figure and shook his head. _Although Takashi and I may look alike…he always gets the best girls._

It was five minutes to ten, the train would be arriving soon. Sendoh looked around anxiously for Aiji but she was nowhere insight. A loud drumming noise could be heard and the train arrived, Sendoh went in and took a seat. He was shaking his head in bewilderment. _Something must have happened to her…_

The last whistle was heard and a figure was running towards the train, she just passed the sliding doors before it slammed shut. Sendoh was in the third car…..he caught a glimpse of Aiji running to one of the cars behind. He stood up making his way to the back. 

Aiji sat taking deep breaths. She barely made it. She was carrying a bag, she fingered it before opening the package, looking at the black wristband. _I couldn't resist buying it…but how am I going to give it to him. She continued staring at the wristband, picturing it on Rukawa Kaede._

_I was searching for a pair of new goggles when I came across this…I bought it in a hurry…now the problem is how to give it to him? Well I could always leave it in his mail box. No,  I will confront him._

Aiji was so lost in her own thoughts that she did not realize a shadow over her. It was only when he spoke that she realize that he was there.

"You almost missed the train,"Sendoh said.

She eyed him coldly. _Doesn't this fellow give up? It is none of his business anyway._

"What is it to you?" She retorted.

Sendoh stood speechless. She wasn't easy to manage.

"I would like you to know that I already have a boyfriend,"She fibbed.

_This was the best way to get wannabe suitors packing. Who is my boyfriend? _

"Nobody said anything about wanting to be your boyfriend," he returned with a grin.

"Just letting you know not to bug me anymore," She said hurriedly embarrassed.

"Then just say so." Sendoh went and sat a few seats away from her.

Aiji was flushing. She decided to go to the lavatory. Taking her package with her, she made her way to the back. There she splashed water onto her face. She never felt more embarrassed in her entire life. She made her way back to her seat, Sendoh was already making himself comfortable in the seat beside hers.

"You're back. I almost forgot. In case Takashi comes back can I have your number?"

"No."_What__ a bad pickup line. Trying to get my number. He is really dumb._

"I could inform you or….."

"Iie, I will find out for myself thank you," Aiji said coldly.

 She plopped to the seat opposite him, staring out the window…to the darkness. She thought about Takashi…Tanaka…Eshiri … Sendoh…Rukawa…her brother before she knew it her tired body fell asleep.

"Ting…ting…ting…Kanagawa station."

Sendoh got up and shook Aiji. She got up with a start.

"We're here." With that Sendoh left.

Aiji hurried out the train. She found Sendoh standing at the steps with a few guys with Ryonan Basketball Team jackets on them. They were laughing and joking at each other. No one was there to welcome her home and that lead an empty feeling lying in her stomach.

"Hey, Aiji do you need a ride home?" Sendoh spoke after noticing no one was there waiting for her.

Some ooohs and  ahhhhs came from his friends probably teasing him for hitting out with a girl. 

"Iie, I live near by." With that she bowed respectfully and head towards her apartment which was empty anyway. For the first time she didn't want to be alone.

Facing the world alone,

With no one catching if you fall,

No one watching,

No rings on the phone,

No greetings when you're home,

The white doves are free,

Yet nowhere to go.

A.N: A poem that doesn't rhyme what do you think bout it??? Reviews are most welcome. Thanks to psyco_kyugurl for editing this.

Eliar Swiftfire: thanks for pointing out my mistakes… this is my first fanfic so there is bout to be blunders…I'm not good with computer setting so I don't know about the html things. Talk about being behind in IT. [ ketinggalan zaman] . ^_^. 

Michiko: Thanks for your support here's the next chappie


	7. burning glow

FOREWORD: Sleep…somewhere in between unfeeling and innocence...Emotionless inside a temporary eternal rest and being one true self…unconscious settlement of the mind and ones' deepest desires…

THE UNDELETABLE PAST

CHAPTER SEVEN: _Burning glow_

Every one neglects listening to the inner soul. Each word it whispers, each wound it feels, each thought it keeps is ignored. Only in times of trouble we remember to pray and only in desperate times we halt and listen…we finally stop and follow our heart. Eyes wide open…unable to sleep, Aiji fingered with the white rose and was debating with her mini angel on the right shoulder and mini devil on the left. 

Mini angel: You like him so take the wrist band and tell him how you feel.  smiles

Mini devil: How do you know he likes you? Just give it to your brother.  snickers

Aiji : Ok, why must I give it to someone…can't I use it on my own??? 

Aiji sat up straight and put the white rose back into a crystal glass beside her bed.

Mini angel: Don't avoid your feelings…

Mini devil: What about the Sendoh guy? He plays basketball too right???

Aiji: Who cares??? Why not I just throw it away…..

Mini angel: Now look what you've done???

Mini devil: What?? I am suppose to spread the evil...

Mini angel: Don't you have any good down there??? [Refers to hell]

Mini devil: Don't you have too much good up there??? [Refers to heaven]

Mini angel: Aiji, listen to me you should view the consequences and be…

Mini devil: Don't listen to him…listen to me…

Aiji: *yawns* I'll leave it till tomorrow…..ZZZZZ

Mini angel: Awww!!!! Look at her innocent face.

Mini devil: snort

POOF!!!

Both the mini angel and mini devil disappears. Out of her window, the crescent moon shone brightly and an owl soared by. Its' shadow ran past a few houses and it flapped its' wings way above the Rukawa mansion where young master Rukawa was unable to fall into a slumber. His blue eyes trailed the patterns on white plaster ceiling. This was weird because sleep comes naturally for Rukawa Kaede. Tonight his mind that was always empty and unbothered was jumbled up. One name kept creeping to his head. 

_Aiji Shisano.  _

His heart skipped a beat. He consoled himself with negative thoughts. He concluded that he doesn't need her and certainly she doesn't benefit him in any way. Basketball has and will be his only goal. He can't afford to stray now because too much time and energy has been put to savor success. Nonetheless he has no time for relationships and did not ever care about them. __

_What made this different? What made her different???_

The questions he asked remained unanswered. He is always unfeeling, always cold, always frozen, always uncaring and that shall not change. Aiji is history. His childhood girl, well if he may say so. They were so young at that time; it was infatuation, mindless admiration nothing more. Rukawa's hand went to his head and he held his fringe up for a moment before lying on it.

Time passed and he never did forget her. Feeling insecure…..he always felt she did forget him. Eventually his eyelids drooped and he fell into a deep sleep. 

_A ribbon that was flowing with the wind. Long and unending. A white ribbon…wavers in the dark of night. A hand reached out trying to grasp it but the silk ribbon was very slippery….and something was  pulling him back and a huge wave came crashing down on him…he sunk to the very depths of the ocean…unconscious…bubbles…someone was calling out his name…some one was singing…_

"The voice…the voice…the voice…" he mumbled.

"Kaede get up…" Mrs. Daichi shook him gently.

"I know that voice…"he whispered.

"Kaede…it is time for school…"

"I know that voice!" he shouted and his eyes flash open.

His heart thumped fast and furiously. He scanned his surroundings and gave a death - like stare to Mrs. Daichi who in returned stared back with motherly features.

"It was only a dream Kaede," She smiled.

"Don't disturb my sleep," he got out of bed and walked past Mrs. Daichi to the bathroom without a second glance.

This was not the first time for Mrs. Daichi. She was all too familiar with Rukawa Kaede's behavior. She decided to let him be. She left him alone. Rukawa clenched his fist tight and shut his eyes tightly in the toilet. He could not remember the dream or nightmare or whatever. Not one detail re-entered his brain. He brushed his teeth vigorously signing his frustration. He got ready in a jiffy… he then took out his bike and went off. 

He relaxed a bit feeling the fresh morning air rushing swiftly on his face as he cycled towards school. He cursed the dream...for making him wake up late… he was supposed to get up earlier for morning practice. 

_Damn…training will be full swing after school. Rukawa Kaede just needs basketball nothing else._

He caught sight of a white curtain gently waving from some one's window and it nagged him…it was all too familiar but his brain doesn't want to remember. The tension built up in his head and he shut his eyes to comfort the pain. Before long he got too comfortable and drifted to sleep while zig zagging on the road. Naturally he ran into a lamp post and ruined his front tire. Still Rukawa managed to cycle crookedly to school.

[:::::::::::::::::::::::::::]

Aiji fidgeted in front of the school entrance. On her left shoulder she slung her backpack filled with her textbooks. Her hands toyed with a small bag containing her previous days' purchase; the black wristband. She took a deep breath and kept her face straight and cool. She walked in confidently and was surrounded by lots of students greeting friends and getting together. Somehow she knew she would never be like that.

"First years…please assemble in the hall to be sorted," the speakers blared. It repeated itself thrice.

_Hall…hall…hall…where is the damn hall._

Walking down the corridor Aiji took many wrong turns and ended up in the third year's block. After passing a few gigantic guys and matured face girls, Aiji knew she was out of place. She turned around quickly and retraced her steps. She was walking hurriedly, not looking at where she was going and she bumped into something HARD!!! She fell landing butt first.

"Kogure, are you ok?" a deep voice boomed.

"I'm alright." 

Kogure was picking up his glasses. It was cracked slightly. Aiji stood up letting the pain sink in but not showing it. 

_Really it hurts…_

She gathered her backpack and was searching for her package. The guy without the spectacles handed the bag to her. She reached for it and took it without looking up. 

"Daijabou ka?" Kogure asked smiling.

Aiji just nod. It was the first time she took a peak at the guys. One was bespectacled and looked pretty smart. The other was tall, huge, dark and scary. But being Aiji she feared nothing. Probably an under statement; considering how she acted in front of Rukawa. The 

Scary one was looking a little impatient. The one with spectacles, Kogure looked kinder.

"You're a first year aren't you? Are you lost?" Kogure asked.

Aiji nod again with a blank expression.

"Come on, Kogure. Ranramu sensei is never late," his companion stated.

"Never mind Akagi. You go ahead. I'll catch up later," Kogure said .

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Akagi left the two immediately. He never misses any second of  Ranramu sensei's physics class. Although Kogure was studious himself, his kind heart made him not to abandon Aiji in the third year hallway.

"You are supposed to go to the hall. There are signs leading towards it but you may have missed it. I'll take you there," he offered.

Aiji nod again. Whilst walking down the stairs, Kogure introduced himself.

"My name is Kogure Kiminobu. I am a third year," he extended his right arm.

"Aiji Shisano," She replied and slapped his hand just like what she did to Sendoh.

"Finally you spoke, I almost thought you were a mute," Kogure said and smiled kindly.

_Sheeeesh__………he reminds me of Sendoh…what's with all the smiley people reminds me of my cold composure…God are you giving me hints to smile?? Sorry but that just ain't me…_

Shohoku High was a huge school. No… Aiji had made her way to the far end of the school whilst the hall is at the other end so it was like having a tour around the school with Kogure as the tour guide…Kogure told her about a few rooms and introduced the office, basketball gym, music room…etc…etc… as they passed.

 More bad luck awaited her as she made her way into the hall with Kogure beside her, it was dispersing. The students were already heading towards their classes and Aiji missed hearing her name called.

"Don't worry, Mura sensei is still on the stage, she is our coordinator for class streaming, come on let's see her," Kogure said.

"Ohayo, Mura sensei," Kogure greeted.

" Oh, ohayo Kogure san what can I do for you?" she asked while gathering her files on the table and keeping the mike. Her eyes moved to Aiji.

"Is this your sister?" Mura sensei peered through her glasses.

"Iie, she is not. Actually she is a first year, she kind of got lost in the third year hallway so I brought her here."

"That's very thoughtful of you Kogure san."

"So you did not hear your name being called…let's see…what's your name?" Mura sensei picked up a file.

"Aiji Shisano," Aiji answered calmly

"Aiji…Aiji…Aiji…"Mura sensei muttered as she traced the names on the file with her finger.

After passing the third page she asked,  

"Are you a bright student?"

Aiji didn't feel the need to answer this question and just nod slightly. Kogure looked on without saying anything…he felt that Aiji was a very intelligent girl, call it six sense if you want but Kogure knew that for a fact.  Mura sensei continued checking until the last page where Aiji's name was highlighted along with a few others. 

"Aiji san, did you have behaviour problems in your ex school?"

Aiji nod again.

"Can you come to the office after school?"

Aiji did not flinch. She stood firmly and slightly inclined her head meaning yes. Mura sensei shut the file.

"You are in Year 1, Class 10. Kogure san if you do not mind please show Aiji san the way. Dismissed."

_Great, first day and I am to go to the office. It is so unfair for Mura sensei to judge based on the past…based on what's already done…on someone's faults…they often do that… no one believes in second chances…class 10…with my grades??? This has to be a very big joke…_

"Class 10…"Aiji mumbled to herself.

Kogure heard her and softly said.

"Do well this semester and show them that they are wrong."

Aiji stopped walking. 

_Everything happens for a reason…_

"Takashi…"she whispered.

"Pardon?"

"Iie."

"We are in the first year's hallway. Just go down this corridor…your class should be at the very end."

"Aligato gozaimas." Aiji mouthed and bowed low.

"Ja." With that Kogure left Aiji walking down the deserted hall. 

Year 1 Class 1…silence. Only the swishing sound of the fan could be heard. Aiji peered in the small glass window at the door. The class was paying full attention to the sensei in front. 90 percent of them had glasses, this was the class she was supposed to be in. She was a straight A's students with distinctions not only in academic wise but also sport wise, and music wise. Even with the gang she slacked a bit in her study hours but her brains never failed her.

Aiji halted in front of the blue sliding door of her soon to be class. Year 1 Class 10. It was very noisy. She took a peak in the small window at the door, they were clowning around, putting on makeup, chatting on handphones and no sensei was in this class. Paper aeroplanes flew around, paper balls aimed to people's head, laughter and squeals were heard from flirtatious girls. 

_This is a nightmare, my class…Aiji thought as she opened the doors with a bang but stood at the doorway unseen by the students. They scrambled to their seats thinking that their sensei was here. Deafening silence was heard, the creaking sound of a rotten fan could be took charge of the still air. It was as if the students held their breaths, dare not even to heave a sigh. _

Aiji was not surprise at their attitude, as naughty as they were, as mischievous as monkeys; these not-so-bright students knew how to treat their sensei with respect. Aiji stepped into the class, all eyes on her, she noticed that there was not a single paper plane or paper ball on the floor. They were even spick and span.

It was like the moment of truth when Aiji stepped in. Once the students set eyes on her, a 5 foot 5 inches girl, built like an athlete with an emotionless stare, they were relieved… Aiji took no more than 5 steps in the class when they all burst into laughter. 

"Awww, man we thought you were the sensei," a guy at the back shouted in between his laughter.

_Wow, this is really a cheerful bunch! Aiji thought walking to find an empty seat almost took in a smile…almost though. Her serious face made them stop laughing and the guy at the back ordered some girls to give Aiji a seat. He must be the leader or something. A few shuffles and screeches of chairs being pulled were heard and Aiji was ushered to a seat right under the rotten fan and in front of the guy at the back. After they all went back minding their own businesses, Aiji stood heading to the seat by the window with her bag._

_I do not need this kind of treatment…I hate it…I really do…Sickening idiotic male species…_

"Where are you going?" the guy at the back asked and stood up. He was certainly a dumb jock. Good looks, good body but no brains. Aiji did not answer and went past a sleeping classmate to the window seat.

The guy followed her, he stood at her table and the class hushed up again. He bent down staring intently at her eyes. Aiji stared back fearlessly. 

"The name is Dawaru Dai, just call me Dai."

"Baka." Aiji said showing a fist at his face, her patience running low. The girls gasped, the guys whistled. Tension built up in Dai's eyes.

"Nani?" he growled and his right hand suddenly came grabbing Aiji by the collar of her white uniform pulling her up.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" Dai asked furiously threatening to punch. Aiji was faster she used her left hand to twist his right one almost breaking it and elbowed his Adam's apple with all her might with an irritated look on her face.

Dai fell back on to the sleeping guy beside her. He got up dazed and felt Dai lying on him. He stood and held Dai by the throat picking him up from the ground.

"Do not disturb me while I am sleeping," he said in a monotone…soft but dangerous kind of tone.

Then he choke slammed Dai. 

WHAMMM!!! 

Dai was on the floor coughing and gasping for air. Aiji on the other hand was staring at the "choke slam" guy.

"Rukawa…" she mouthed.

He turned at the sound of his name. His eyes that were burning ferociously softened a little.

Dai got back on his feet still coughing while rubbing his throat. 

"Who are you?" Dai stuttered with fear in his voice…looking up at the two people that bashed him up.

Both Aiji and Rukawa ignored him and sat back down. The class that was witnessing this with full interest decided to mind their own business again. Dai was helped by a bunch of females seeking for his attention. Rukawa crossed his arms and set his head on the table on his table while shutting his eyes.

_She is sitting next to me. His heart took a small leap._

_I am sitting next to him. Aiji fingered the package looking out of the window watching two yellow butterflies dancing at some bougainvillea plants. Then she snapped to attention when the sensei came in and lessons begun…_

Fighting urges and desires,

Feeling alone everytime,

Hurting our own precious hearts,

Fearing the one word called love.

A.N : The words in italic is either Aiji's or Rukawa's thoughts in case of confusion. Thanks so much for reviewing…reviews are an author's pride and joy!!!!

Pysco-kyugurl : Thanks for reviewing and Happy belated birthday!!! Ummm… Sendoh is an idle competitor for Rukawa on and off the court so I had to add him… but I don't think Aiji would fall for him…but sometimes unexpected things do come along though… and I am proud to say…RUKAWA IS DA BEST!!! Sendoh will always be rated lower than Rukawa in my heart…^_^ 

Michiko : Thanks for reviewing…this is my first fic and of course a triangle would add the juice but I have not planned the whole story yet so…we shall wait and see…

Rejected –pen @ Mother of all HAIWANS : Thanks so much for at last clicking on the kucik-rat punya review button…sakuragi would be coming in eventually…after all he is the main character in slam dunk…be patient ya J

Blue- obsessed : Thanks… This is the next chap.

Renei : Wow! Can't believed my advertisement actually worked… thanks for reviewing… I would just like to say something….PLOT? what plot?? These chaps are actually the turnout of my feelings day in day out…ooops the secret is out…here is the next chap…any progress??? And yeah in the end someone is going to die…dramatic scene so keep on reading and reviewing ya


	8. precious treasure

FOREWORD: Time…a fraction of time… a split second changes everything…the actions taken in the present strays the future…alters the path of life leading us towards our destiny…

THE UNDELETABLE PAST

_CHAPTER EIGHT: Precious treasure_

Running through a maze…seeking the way out; every where your foot lands is a dead end…Slammed against a sky high black wall…all drained out…yet still running in circles…over and over again. The tears that glisten in our eyes, slowly makes its way down, trailing a tired face. Exhaustion, fatigue and dehydration finally reaches its toll and the pupil turns white, darkness corners and the body shuts down…free fall into a black hole. Leaning against the wall, Aiji slumped into one of the waiting chairs and reflected her presence there…

_I am missing recess…Mura sensei decided to bring forward our appointment …ruins my appetite…_

"Aiji Shisano?" the secretary inquired, taking a peak at three students sitting in the waiting room.

Aiji opened her eyes slowly, "Hai." She said softly.

"Mura sensei will have you in now."

Aiji followed closely behind the plump secretary, she was quite friendly and she smiled warmly somewhat telling Aiji not to worry and that Mura sensei will not eat her up. The truth was Aiji was not at all anxious, nervous or feeling fear. This happened a few times in her ex-school and she was kind of used to it by now. Takashi was always there with her in the waiting room.

_Just let them sing in your ears…he would say…_

The door of the office with the name Mura Ojio pasted on it opened and she paced herself in steadily. Prepared to be facing a pair of disgusted eyes, Aiji wanted to return the stare but the teacher looked at her with twinkling eyes and Aiji was puzzled. 

"Konnichiwa sensei," Aiji bowed low, showing respect and keeping the honour of her name.

"Konnichiwa Aiji san, please have a seat," Mura sensei returned the greeting.

Aiji looked around the light blue coloured room, comparing it to the dark brown walls of her ex-school office. It brought a sense of peace to her heart. Mura sensei was examining a file… 

_Probably my profile Aiji guessed…the little black book of my "behaviour problems" Aiji thought remembering Mura sensei's words at the hall._

__

"Before I proceed to your welfare, I would like to show you something. This will be our little secret…Can I have your word for it? Forever engraved in stone," Mura sensei asked seriously.

_Forever engrave in stone…that's what the gang always said to keep promises._

"No," came a short reply.

"This is not a joke. Bring it to your grave, the seal will be opened," Mura sensei challenged her.

_To hell with gang codes…how did she know anyway? I have sworn on blood to follow summoning codes…_

__

Absent mindedly Aiji touched her left wrist that had a scar. A password for honour and secretion of the gang.

"This is what I wanted to show you," Mura sensei folded the long sleeve of her left arm.

_A quadruple crossed mark… _

Aiji looked on shocked. She only had the double crossed mark. There was a special tradition to the marks. The first time a junior meets or comes upon his senior this tradition shall be uplifted. Slowly Aiji's hand crept to the table, an involuntary action but something she had to complete. Her soul forces her to do so although the person in front of her was her sensei. 

Aiji's hands formed into a fist, flexing it she felt a piercing pain on the double crossed mark scar…it took her four and a half years to obtain the double crossed rank and had the opportunity to make her juniors scream…but now it was her turn.

They both stood up in sync. Mura sensei's fist was ready as she punched with all her might to Aiji's mark. Probably because of the special blade used to carve the mark, the pain came rushing to her spine… unbearable pain. Aiji gritted her teeth and withstand the pain. Then Mura sensei lightly tap Aiji's mark with hers. 

They both sat down. Aiji's eyes flashed dangerously as she felt deceived. The burning feeling in her wrist wasn't subsiding but felt as though growing and spreading throughout her body. Yet she kept calm and hid her pain as much as it was. Mura sensei unfolded her sleeve, smoothing the wrinkles that turned up while giving Aiji time to recover from the blow.

"I am quite surprised, I have not seen a double crossed mark on a girl before," Mura sensei's eyes went to Aiji's wrists once more. Aiji kept quiet.

"Aiji Shisano, I assume you're from Sunset-46 gang, based on the jagged and unusually large mark, Sunset-46 is known for illegal racing, illegal gambling, import and exporting certain goods such as alcohol… but with one motto: NO DRUGS, correct me if I am wrong…HQ or headquarters in Tokyo," Mura sensei was quite a pro at detailing her gang.

Aiji kept her mouth shut and her expression neutral. 

"Oh yes. Weapons and fights are frequent to monopolize business and Sunset-46 has one of the best underground network all around Japan and also some other countries," Mura sensei took out her glasses and rubbed her eyes then put them on again. She took her index finger and traced her own skin just above her left eyebrow…looking intently at Aiji's scar on her forehead

"An injury?" Mura sensei smiled wistfully.

Aiji statued herself and held a stone cold look.

_Takashi…I hear a melodious tune now…wish you were here…_

"Double crossed markings are quite high in Sunset-46…they are very prestigious, not at all lenient in ranks. Without further ado, I shall get to my point…"Mura sensei's voice trailed as she flicked the pages of the file once more.

"I see you stopped joining club activities two years ago. Before that you had a few good starts in the track team, long distance I am impressed…swimming with your brother Aiji Saeji…and your athletic ability earned you a place in TNJSS: Tokyo National Junior Sports School…for track, swimming and hockey. Then the record went blank for two and a half years in Junior High…and now you're here in front of me in an unpopular government school Shohoku High…not to condemn or anything but…" she paused.

"Shohoku is a normal school…no athletes comes in and out…only some hardworking ones did well in sports, and only a handful pass with flying colours here. Well you have surprisingly good grades considering your social status..."

_Insulting.__ " Considering your social status…". Baka aho!Some people do have brains and humbleness unlike you…_

Aiji felt irritated. Mura sensei was a bit too much no "very much too much". Shohoku High is a good school although in small Kanagawa and unknown…yet…This is yet to change. Aiji could feel it in the wind, the surroundings it held seem to welcome each and every student…understands one's ability. 

"I am giving you an opportunity Aiji san, please don't let me down. I could suspend you anytime if I find anything amiss and… our little secret is fake…this stitches were obtained when I opened a window and the glass broke several years ago…I learned your records from my police friend so that's about it. Have you got anything to say?"

"You are going to be fired by the end of this year," Aiji said confidently… her voice contained a hint of sneer.

"Nani?"

"You heard me… I live for myself and you aren't at all relevant to any of my cases so you should not even care. But you are very nosy that you pry at others business… and the thing about giving me an opportunity…that's crap…because I stand on my own two feet and walk on the path that is very different from yours so I choose my own opportunities," Aiji said in a dangerous tone.

Mura sensei was speechless.

"You did your homework well and managed to deceive me this time but cheap people like you shall get what they deserve. You went to all this trouble to get me but it is yourself that is going to land into **_deep shit! Kanagawa is different from Tokyo but it is also an important state. Shohoku High is different from TNJSS but it manages to give all of its students a good education. There are prodigies everywhere only people like you fail to see it," she heaved a breath._**

"Every single pupil is special in their own way. You however are ruining their lives or shall I say have ruin lots of pupils' lives. Opportunities my foot! You are just on a power trip, trying to control them. You have picked the wrong person to play your "power trip" game with… Mura Ojio sensei…that is something I guarantee you," Aiji continued icily and stood up ready to leave.

"Matte, I could suspend you now!" Mura sensei retorted furiously opening a drawer and taking out a suspension form. She was beginning to fill it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Aiji warned her lifting her left wrist that was all swollen up and slightly bleeding.

"Mr. Principal *sob* Mura sensei lost her temper and grabbed my wrist so hard and banged it on the table *sob*. I just got this injury in an accident a couple of weeks ago," Aiji faked a sweet voice and pretended to cry.

Aiji took the suspension form and tore it into half, crumpled it and threw it into the wastepaper basket. A defeated look took over Mura sensei's once smug face.

"Aligato gozaimas sensei," Aiji said in a cynical voice then bowed low retreating to the door

"I planned the whole thing, you fell into my trap and punched me just where I wanted you…if you were oncea gang member you should know the REAL RULES AND PHRASES," stressing on the last few words Aiji left the room and slammed the door hard after she went out.

The secretary look with amazement obviously she heard the whole conversation. This sporting middle-aged lady gave Aiji a thumbs-up sign. Aiji inclined her head politely and walked out of the office.

"Matte, what was my mistake," Mura sensei rushed out and asked.

"Rule no.1 …a member helps each other and never…NEVER look down on others even those with only a basic line," Aiji replied solemnly leaving Mura sensei at the doorstep staring with an open jaw.

The whole corridor was empty as Aiji made her way to her locker. She took out her school bag and the small plastic parcel containing the black wristband.

_Guess I won't be seeing him…should I go to the nurse office to put some iodine on my wrist? _

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Aiji checked her watch. There was only 10 minutes left before recess ends. She inspected her wounded wrist…it was just a few days before the incident with Eshiri that she got the double-cross rank. Eshiri…

_She only had a basic line…just another normal gang member with nothing special…no fighting skills, computer skills, wooing skills etc...etc but NEVER look down on another member…I made that error one and it almost took my life…_

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Being a left hander, she would have trouble writing afterwards. She grimaced a little.

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_Better soothe the wound…_

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[………………………]

Rukawa descended the stairs from the roof top, rubbing his head gently…blood flowing down his forehead to his cheeks…and irritating his eyes.His head was throbbing…he felt a splitting headache… His hands was also stained with blood…not all of it was his, some existed from Sakuragi. 

_Sakuragi__ Hanamichi and a brown haired girl…Harako or was it Hariko or Raruko…_

_Don't involve me in love triangles or in any of your businesses…I don't care…the girl was being polite offering her handkerchief…but I didn't give a damn…she knew my name somehow… _

_First day and lots ofdo' ahos disturbing my sleep and one bashing me for no apparent_

_reason__… is there a "HIT ME" sign on my back?? Should I go to the nurse's office? My head hurts…it is getting cold…hard to breathe…_

__

Rukawa's energy was draining out…he felt so tired…his vision was a bit blur…He staggered to the nurse's office. He raised his bloody hand to knock…it was a difficult task just lifting his hand…he just felt weak…he managed a small knock, barely staining the blue door, hardly any sound heard…his legs wobbled…then he collapsed.

_The white ribbon…was moving like a spiral…somehow he was trying to grasp it but kept on slipping…an angel appeared singing…Mom??? Then it disappeared…he felt as though he was floating…he felt a pair of eyes on him…he felt the warmth it generated slowly reheating his icy cold body…darkness complete darkness then he heard his name uttered…barely audible…not urgently, not anxiously just his name…_

__

"Rukawa," Aiji manage to whisper.

Her brown eyes focused on his pale face and blue lips…Her fingers trembled aching to touch and warm up those lips but her heart ached more…She has promised not to think of him that way…but emotions are unstoppable not like a switch, on and off as one pleases.

Instead of fingering his lips…she hummed softly to him. The song from her heart…the song she played for him only yesterday Our First Meeting.

_Though it seemed right…it never is and we met…was it fate? Was it our destiny? Was it a dream? Eye to eye…silence portrayed...coincidence and dejavu our first meeting with this song in the background…_

__

Those words came in her head as she hummed the melody of her masterpiece._ _

She had helped Nurse Chiriki to clean his wound and his hands. His hand was so warm yesterday but now it was as if the fire was put out and the North wind froze it. Her hand stayed put trying to give out warmth to him. She prayed when she caught sight of him outside the nurse's office.

_God…don't let this happen twice to me…Takashi was first…Rukawa next…please let him be alright…let him be alright_

FLASHBACK

Walking down the hallway of the nurse's office she felt queasy…she felt a form of uneasiness in the air. Reaching her destination, the first thing that caught her eye was BLOOD. Blood on the door, on the floor, on this unconscious figure…She realized the source of her uneasiness…She had smelt blood…and her heart thumped wildly…

_Raven hair…long body…pale skin…it couldn't be??? Masaka…_

__

Aiji gently pushed his hair away and tilted his head. Her heart thumped wildly while doing this…adrenaline flowing…her eyes was alarmingly pale and she was so still as though paralyzed…her heart seems to stop and for that millisecond…time halted. Her brain seems to shut down totally…then it hit her right there and then…

_Rukawa…_

Aiji knocked on the door hard and shoved the door open surprising the nurse…The nurse hurried to the door and sprang into action when she saw the injured student. The small, petite, little lady nurse gained the strength of ten men when she lifted Rukawa's limp body, swung his right hand on her shoulders, his full weight on her Aiji quickly gave a hand to support Rukawa's other side. Then the two of them half carried and half dragged him to the hospital bed.

Nurse Chiriki's expert hands took over all the apparatus in the clinic. Aiji could do naught but stare. Occasionally the nurse asked her to pass some cotton or bandage or medicine and Aiji gladly did as she was told. His skin that was pale was extremely white as though there wasn't a single blood low in his body…his lips that was slightly pinkish turned to dark shades of blue.

After Nurse Chiriki finished treating Rukawa she took a sample of his blood. Nurse Chiriki told Aiji to look after Rukawa whilst she run some simple tests on his blood sample in the next room. She said something about Rukawa being pretty weird…he should not have the energy to get into fights…

END OF FLASHBACK

Nurse Chiriki came back and was slightly shaking her head muttering something.

"Unbelievable…unbelievable…"she mumbled.

She took a look at her patient…the colour in his cheeks was returning…and his lips was slowly turning into its usual colour. She touched his right arm feeling his muscles.

"Are you his girlfriend?" Nurse Chiriki asked.

"Iie, I was coming to treat this," Aiji held her left hand up.

"Let me take care of this first."

While Nurse Chiriki was treating her wrist, she bombarded Aiji with tons of questions about how she obtained the injury. Aiji felt quite irritated by her inquisitive manner and felt obliged to answer…Nurse Chiriki had a warm voice, sweet and protective. Right now without the love of her parents or any family, Aiji had an empty feeling lying in the pit of her stomach… But she couldn't lie not to those who are good to her so she left Nurse Chiriki's question unanswered. 

"You can tell me your story when you are ready, "the nurse stated then changing the subject…she said

"It was good timing in your part if not this young man would have landed in the hospital…do you know him?"

"He's my classmate."

"Oh…this is good," a smile formed in Nurse Chiriki lips.

Aiji was puzzled by this but said nothing. Her eyes fell on the white cloth that was turning red as the nurse applied iodine and antiseptic cream on her wrist. It stung when the liquid touched Aiji's wrist but she showed none of her pain. 

"You are strong and independent. A lot of girls I know would have been crying their eyes out with this type of injury if not because of the pain…because this will leave a scar on their pretty limbs."

"Aligato," Aiji replied.

"Can I ask a favour from you?"

Aiji stared at the nurse for a while then inclined her head meaning yes. Nurse Chiriki eyes were on the unmoving figure on the next bed. Realising this Aiji followed her eyes looking at Rukawa. 

"He's precious to you isn't he?" Nurse Chiriki asked.

_Precious???_ Aiji thought. Deciding not to retort Aiji slightly shook her head. 

"You were singing to him…a song of the heart not even the best artists could beat that priceless treasure."

_Treasure…everything happens for a reason…_

__

"Gomen ne um…"

"Aiji, Aiji Shisano."

"Gomen ne Aiji san…I never meant to eavesdrop but I felt at peace with your voice that's why I asked if he was your boyfriend."

"I don't mind ,"Aiji managed a small smile.

KRINGGGG!!! The bell went off.

"Don't worry, I'll issue you a leave for the first period. Well I better get to the point, your friend there…"

"He's not my friend."

"Um…your classmate...matte what's his name?"

"Rukawa," a voice came from behind.

"Oh you're awake finally…"Nurse Chiriki shifted her gaze to Rukawa who was sitting on the bed.

"Are you feeling any pain? Dizziness maybe?"

"No," Rukawa answered coldly staring at the two people in front of him.

"When did you get up?" Nurse Chiriki asked as she took the stethoscope to check on Rukawa.

"The bell woke me."

_So he did not hear the conversation…precious…treasure…luckily…Aiji was relieved._

_He's not my friend…he's not my friend…he's not my friend… Those words repeated in Rukawa's head._

"Can I leave now?" Aiji asked.

"No, I want to talk to the both of you."

"What about?" Rukawa asked icily.

"You," Nurse Chiriki replied.

"Then it doesn't concern me, aligato nurse I have a class right now…ja." Aiji stood heading for the exit.

"Aiji san…I have not finished with you young lady…You aren't dismissed yet," the nurse said sternly, patients running low and eyes flashing dangerously. Aiji stop walking with her back to them.

"Gomen, nurse…I can't…"Aiji stopped in mid sentence.

Rukawa got up. His dark blue eyes searching hers but failed as she looked away and picked up her school bag and the parcel… she walked towards the door then halt on second thought came back to Rukawa.

"Here." She held up the parcel to him.

Rukawa eyed the bag but did not even lift his hand to receive it. Nurse Chiriki just observed the two for a brief moment then moved away to the back room. They stood in that position for a minute or so in silence then she began to lower her hand…with disappointment written on her face… but he intercepted in midway. As his hand was huge, he was gripping the parcel as well as her hand, an electric surge came upon Aiji's body. A moment later she pulled back and went to the door.

With her hand on the knob, she said "I hope you like it."

"Precious treasure," came his reply which froze her for a short moment before she left the room.

_So he heard…everything happens for a reason…precious treasure…_

"Rukawa san are you ready for what I have to tell you?" Nurse Chirikicame out after Aiji left.

Rukawa nodded.

[………………………]

Journey through life,

Discovering the precious treasure,

Priceless,

The gift from a true heart.

A.N: Ahhhhh…..such a relief to finally finish this chapter. Been a long time since I updated. I tend to be long winded in the story so forgive me ya…I actually wanted to continue but I think it is avery long chapter so I'll be leaving you in suspense. 

Definition of suspense: excitement felt at the approach of the climax…^_^

Rejected pen@wei yin: sorry for the mix up…thanks for reviewing…

Psyco_kyugirl :thanks for reviewing. Um…sorry did not give you a gift on your birthday…been quite busy so I shall dedicate this chap as your b'day present okie…^_^

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